November 26, 2009
November 25, 2009
Panic
Today I have been in a situation where I saw the worst coming like a film in front of my eyes within split second. I was actor in a movie with no happy end. But as strange the situation was, as strange I acted. I was between panic and total calmness, my actions were right and calm but inside myself I screamed of fear to loose something very important.
Fortunately I was bright enough to call help and thank the genius who came up with cell phones, the situation was safe after a short while.
But during these seconds I felt filled up with panic and helplessness are still flickering in my thoughts, feelings I cannot suppress easily. I was quite lucky under the circumstances and I cannot believe it really. When you expect the worst its hard to believe you had so much luck in the end.
I am still bewildered. But relieved.
Fortunately I was bright enough to call help and thank the genius who came up with cell phones, the situation was safe after a short while.
But during these seconds I felt filled up with panic and helplessness are still flickering in my thoughts, feelings I cannot suppress easily. I was quite lucky under the circumstances and I cannot believe it really. When you expect the worst its hard to believe you had so much luck in the end.
I am still bewildered. But relieved.
November 21, 2009
November 20, 2009
I am
I am
The sun to brighten your day
The moon to shine for you in the dark
The laughter to alleviate your despair
The crutch to shed your worries
I am
The rosepetal at your feet
The exultation of your spirit
The reflection of you inner desires
The light that shines for you when all other lights are gone
I am
The fragrance to spice up your life
The ejector of your weirdest dreams
The leading part in your naughtiest fantasy
The dust bin of your emotional viciousness
I am for you
The sun to brighten your day
The moon to shine for you in the dark
The laughter to alleviate your despair
The crutch to shed your worries
I am
The rosepetal at your feet
The exultation of your spirit
The reflection of you inner desires
The light that shines for you when all other lights are gone
I am
The fragrance to spice up your life
The ejector of your weirdest dreams
The leading part in your naughtiest fantasy
The dust bin of your emotional viciousness
I am for you
Quote
“A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.”
William Arthur Ward
November 17, 2009
What if ...
... I wouldn't have been born in Europe but in some poor Third-World country?
... the German Wall wouldn't have been dropped and USSR hadn't been split into seperate states?
... I would have been born as a boy? I know I would have been called 'Sascha' and it doesn't make me really happy "coughs". Maybe I had a ton of kids now or be a lonely man travelling around the world with only a rucksack...
... Gor would really exist? I am sure I would get myself in some trouble and end up in chains somewhere on a slavemarket. Or maybe I am smart and be a Scribe in some decent southern city..?
... the Iraq war had never happened?
... I had chosen another profession, something I really love? I wished I would have known that when I was young.
... there would be peace on earth? No crime, no violence, no humilitation, no suffer... What to do with all the remaining testosterone?
... the medicine wouldn't have made any advances since medieval times? The natural selection would probably have taken advantage, maybe our planet would be much healthier than it is now?
... we didn't have internet, mobile phone, blackberry and all that? I would probably do a puzzle right now or write my diary with a pen :-)
There are so many "What if's" I use to think about, too many to write them all down. What if I wouldn't think about "What if's"?
... the German Wall wouldn't have been dropped and USSR hadn't been split into seperate states?
... I would have been born as a boy? I know I would have been called 'Sascha' and it doesn't make me really happy "coughs". Maybe I had a ton of kids now or be a lonely man travelling around the world with only a rucksack...
... Gor would really exist? I am sure I would get myself in some trouble and end up in chains somewhere on a slavemarket. Or maybe I am smart and be a Scribe in some decent southern city..?
... the Iraq war had never happened?
... I had chosen another profession, something I really love? I wished I would have known that when I was young.
... there would be peace on earth? No crime, no violence, no humilitation, no suffer... What to do with all the remaining testosterone?
... the medicine wouldn't have made any advances since medieval times? The natural selection would probably have taken advantage, maybe our planet would be much healthier than it is now?
... we didn't have internet, mobile phone, blackberry and all that? I would probably do a puzzle right now or write my diary with a pen :-)
There are so many "What if's" I use to think about, too many to write them all down. What if I wouldn't think about "What if's"?
November 16, 2009
Things I want to do
There are some things I really want to do, I always promised myself I would one day. Some are lifetime goals, some are goals I have for the near future.
1. Do a skydiving
2. Visit New York City
3. Become more self-conscious
4. Loose 10 kg weight
5. See the Northern Lights
6. Stay healthy without needing machines
7. See a-ha in Oslo at their last concert
8. Get a leading role in a stage play
9. Finally finishing learning to play the gituar
10. Learn the piano
11. Know and dance all Line Dance dances
12. Go on a road trip through the United States
13. Keep my friends for my lifetime
14. Find a new job in a company I really like
15. Do something nice to someone who will never find out
16. Remove my pubic hair with laser therapy (!)
17. Fulfil at least one of my sexual fantasies
18. Fight more against animal abuse
19. Refresh my italian language knowledge
20. Learn more about my own country
21. Sleep under the stars
22. Get some extensions again
23. Go skiing to Austria very soon
24. Go out to the clubs with my friend again
25. Make other people smile
..to be continued...
1. Do a skydiving
2. Visit New York City
3. Become more self-conscious
4. Loose 10 kg weight
5. See the Northern Lights
6. Stay healthy without needing machines
7. See a-ha in Oslo at their last concert
8. Get a leading role in a stage play
9. Finally finishing learning to play the gituar
10. Learn the piano
11. Know and dance all Line Dance dances
12. Go on a road trip through the United States
13. Keep my friends for my lifetime
14. Find a new job in a company I really like
15. Do something nice to someone who will never find out
16. Remove my pubic hair with laser therapy (!)
17. Fulfil at least one of my sexual fantasies
18. Fight more against animal abuse
19. Refresh my italian language knowledge
20. Learn more about my own country
21. Sleep under the stars
22. Get some extensions again
23. Go skiing to Austria very soon
24. Go out to the clubs with my friend again
25. Make other people smile
..to be continued...
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